Weigh In, Small Cheats, Managing Restaurant Food

Life has been crazy!  I have ignored this blog for quite a while, and I haven't really had the time or the courage to take a look at my weight or measurements since Annie's been in the hospital.  And so here we are, 5 weeks from my last stat check.  The news is pretty good, actually.  Although I'm not in ketosis, and I haven't been for a couple of weeks, my weight is holding pretty steady.  From my last weigh in on April 17, I have lost .5 pounds, 1" from my bust, .5" from my waist, and .5" from my hips. 

It is no great loss, especially spread out over 5 weeks... but I stepped on the scale this morning, expecting to see some gain.  I haven't been drinking the water I should, I haven't been to the gym in 5 weeks, and I've been out of ketosis for a while.  Plus, I keep wanting to cave in and cheat, cheat, cheat - in a really bad way.  Everytime we go out to eat (and we're going out pretty often these days), a part of me thinks, "I can eat that now, and no one will blame me."  So, we went out for Mexican, and I found myself saying to my husband, "Maybe I'll have a margarita."  Luckily, I have a good husband, who looked me in the eye, and said "Don't sabotage your weight loss, Kate."  Ooookay.  Thanks, Pete.  Enough said!  So we compromised.  He got the margarita, and I had three small sips during dinner.  Not completely carb free, but not that bad either, and he only looked a little girly with that frosty drink :)  I have no idea how many carbs three sips of that margarita had, but this is something I've been doing.  I'm flirting with danger.  Last night, I went out with my sister, and had a small bite of her Tollhouse Pie.  OMG.  Really freaking good.  A small bite is better than a big cheat, right?

Confession: I have started eating some fruit.  It is totally not allowed on any induction phase of any low carb WOE that I've studied.   But, something had to give.  I craved sweet, and I haven't been able to make my low carb brownies.  So, I figured that natural and sweet would be better for me than a candy bar.  Hello strawberries, blackberries and raspberries.  About 1 cup per day, floating in about 2 ounces of half and half.  Look - I am pretty sure that I need the antioxidants, and when I get back to real life (out of the damned hospital), I will start being more strict.  At least it is not a horrible cheat.... 1 cup of raw strawberries has 9 net carbs; 1 cup of blackberries has 7 net carbs; and 1 cup of raspberries has 7 net carbs.  So, figure my daily bowl is about 8 grams of carbs or so, probably less than that because I don't actually think that I am getting a full cup of fruit. 

Still here!

Life is pretty crazy these days. My daughter had surgery on Thursday to remove the tumor in her abdomen....13 long hours for my poor girl. They sent about 100 slices of the tumor to the lab for pathology, but they are pretty sure that the whole thing is going to come back benign, which is, frankly, miraculous. We should know on Monday.

So, surprisingly, hospital cafeteria food is perfect for this diet. I have been having meat/eggs for breakfast and meat/salad for lunch. I am not getting as much water as I usually would, and I have been guzzling coffee, so I am starting to get a little dehydrated, I think. But, I can correct that with some diligence today.

Diabetes update: went to the MD on Wednesday and learned that my oral gtg results indicate that I am at least pre-diabetic. My hba1c is really good though, and so are my random and post -prandial glucose readings. The conclusions, I am insulin resistant, pre-diabetic, but well controlled on my low-carb diet. My fasting glucose continues to be high. So, I am taking 250 mg of metformin at bedtime. The result, this mornings fasting was 100 exactly.
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Back in ketosis!

Getting back into ketosis ONLY took six days following last Tuesday's oral glucose tolerance test (and cookie catastrophe). In the meanwhile, I've put on some of what I think is mostly water weight. By Friday, I was up to 215!! This morning, back down to 212. I hope to continue the downward trend. I still feel bloated. I read that carb consumption, besides knocking you out of ketosis, can also make you retain water. Bizarre and true story. This was a wedding weekend. Friday we had the rehearsal, Saturday was the main event and Sunday was the brunch. Very fun. My sister, daughter and I were sitting on the sunny patio enjoying brunch when we had a Saturday Night Live moment. This crazy old aunt of the groom started talking, completely unprovoked, about how she had loaded up on diet pills the day of the wedding so that she wouldn't put on weight. Then, whilst shoveling into her face a number of delicious pastries and assorted goodies, crumbs falling on ample bosom, she began to go through some of the diets she had tried recently... "The fruit and water diet", she said. "Hollywood fat flush...I didnt read the directions so I didn't dilute the shake mix". And my favorite, "the tuna fish and beef frank diet...it's supposed to keep you satisfied...". Gross. When I asked where she heard about these diets, she replied, "the computer". My sister and I were a little horrified...and that was before she started giving out diet advice. "Diet pills and hot showers", she managed to mumble despite having a mouthful of cherry cheese Danish. Omg. Really? How...healthy. Wary of being a fat person in transition who gives out unsolicited diet advice to strangers in public, I just kept my mouth shut. It was a battle. My sister, who has lost 130 pounds, just nodded. I wanted to suggest the cat food and asparagus diet, but I thought that would be wrong.

Back on the blog

I'm back.  I couldn't stay away for too long.  Guess what, being a scared mom actually leaves you plenty of free time to sit around and worry.  So, here I am.  Here are some low carb observations that came to me during my crisis.

 

The first one:

 

Headgames.  That's what I call it when pre-low carb Kate would negotiate treats with herself, like she was two different people.  Well, I caught myself wanting to drift back into that dual-minded mentality.  Since we've had our medical scare, very sweet, well-meaning people have begun dropping off food at my house.  Literally, one "square" meal per day is left in my porch by this really nice group of ladies that I belong to.  And I'm incredibly touched.  I feel loved.  For real.  However, if I have to be a Debbie Downer (and I do), I will tell you that I have not been able to eat one freaking thing that they brought to my home!  Carb-crazy Kate (as distinguished from regular Kate and evil Kate) has been negotiating like she's a diplomat and it's the Treaty of Ghent up in my house.  Oh, sweet Lord, it has been so hard.  I've had to slap my own hand, yell "down girl!" and firmly remind myself (dual-minded again), that these other Kates don't really exist, and they don't necessarily want what is best for us...I mean, me. 

 

 

The second one:

 

Well, on Tuesday, I had the two-hour oral glucose tolerance test that I've been whining about for a couple of weeks.  Yes.  75 grams of pure glucose in one nasty little bottle of disgusting glucose drink.  Ugh.  Even carb-crazy Kate wanted to hurl up that foul, wretched goo.  I did it though, and three puncture marks later (yes, I look like a heroin fiend), I headed home and was unsurprised to learn that this foray into the devil's drink has taken me out of ketosis.  I have been in ketosis for about 12 weeks.  So – and I am not proud to admit this – I took the opportunity to go ahead and have not one but TWO of these huge, beautiful, buttery, chocolate-chippity chocolate chip cookies that were dropped off at my house on Tuesday.  It was so good.  Y'all… it was too good.  I felt like a fiend, but heroin was not my drug of choice… it was cookies.  I was about 2 seconds away from inhaling that entire tin of 12 cookies.  But, I stopped myself.  There was no trick to it.  I felt the absolute, certain knowledge that once I started, I would not stop… and I was pretty horrified with the mental picture that developed of me shoveling all those carbs (and many more to follow) in my mouth.  No kidding.  I had a millisecond-long talk with myself, slapped carby Kate one more time for good measure, and realized that I just couldn't let myself down again with diet, and I refused to go down that slippery slope (slippery because it is coated with molten chocolate).  I want to be healthy and thin.  I do, I do.  I am on my way. 

 

The third one:

 

Good things.  I went to TJ Maxx on Tuesday, after my bad behavior, and picked up some new things.  It was not for the purpose of celebrating my weight loss or return to normalcy.  It was because I don't have any casual clothes that fit, and I still can't find any of the shoes that my husband "organized" right out of my life.  So, I spent $109 and change, and bought myself 3 new pairs of pants, each one a 16 regular, two cute shirts, a pair of leather ballet flats with little rosettes on the toes, and a new blue leather purse (which I got on clearance for a ridiculously low price of $7).  Plus, I got some new handsoap for my bathroom and kitchen, which made me happy.  One is rose water (so yummy), and the other is lemon verbena (sharp and clean smelling).  It was a really good load.  And…. I really needed it.  Phew.  The jeans are life-affirming.  They look good.  It was a great purchase because I saw my butt, and it looketh nice (if you're into juicy booties).  And I was suddenly glad that I did not eat that entire tray of cookies.  So glad, in fact, that I invited my family over for dinner and they ate all of that stuff I can't eat, including the cookies.

 

The fourth one:

No sugar added chocolate sundae at Friendly's.  So, my kid wanted to go to Friendly's last night for ice cream, and who can refuse a little kid who has to go in for surgery next week?  I sure can't.  So, we loaded up in the car and headed over to Friendly's, and I ordered a cup of coffee.  Enh.  I asked if they had the nutritional information for their no sugar added vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce.  They did NOT have it in the store.  Luckily, my sister whipped out her I-phone and looked it up for me.  I'm not sure exactly how they do their math, but I'm pretty sure it is low-carb enough to eat.  Check this out:

The ice cream has 11 grams of carbs, 3 grams of dietary fiber and 5 grams of sugar alcohols…  So, I'm pretty sure that means that it is either 8 grams of carbs, or 3 grams per serving.  I'm guessing that it has 3 grams per serving, because its mostly just dairy and fake sugar.

The chocolate sauce has 25 grams of carbs, 2 grams of dietary fiber, and 21 grams of sugar alcohols.  So, again, that means its either 23 grams of carbs, or 2 grams of carbs.

I added sliced roasted almonds.  Just 1 carb.

It was so good.  My guess, the carb count was 6 for the happy-ending sized sundae.  I hope.  I'm going to email Friendly's and figure out what's up with that / how you count the sugar alcohols.  Because, I'd love to do this again next week.  (Down girl!!)  I think I'm safe.