Self-love (and get your mind out of the gutter!)

I have to tell you something.  I just love the way that my legs look in a skirt and heels these days.  I am so glad that spring is here and it is starting to warm up a bit, and now I can wear somewhat more revealing clothes when I'm out and about.  I'm keeping it office appropriate, I promise!

I don't think that I have worn a pair of pants this week.  Tuesday, I wore a very pretty flowered wrap dress with a black blazer.  Thursday, I wore a great gray sheath dress with a hot-pink cardigan.  Today, I am wearing a black pencil skirt, with a pink, black and white-striped button down (tucked in, with belt!) and a pink cardigan on top.  Too cute.  Oh wait. Okay, now I remember, on Wednesday, I wore black trousers, black tee and a gray, white and black argyle cashmere cardigan.  It was flattering.

I am starting to love clothes again.  It is a sign that things are going well on this diet, because I won't wear clothes if I think they show my lumps, humps and rolls in an unflattering light.  (Yes, I look at myself with a very critical eye in the mornings). 

I have one accessory that I swear by.  I bought it a few months ago.  It is a wide leather belt from Lane Bryant, in a size 14.  Okay, I wasn't a size 14 when I bought it, but the front is leather, and the back is a wide elastic, which helped.  (At first, it really constricted my breathing when I wore it...but I've given it a second try now that I've accomplished some weight loss.)  It is not cheap or chintzy looking elastic – it just looks like fabric.  Believe me, this belt gets a lot of use now, because it helps to bring in the silhouette of tops and dresses that are getting to be roomy.  It looks good when I wear it over a blouse, then put a jacket or sweater on top of the whole thing.  In fact, I am starting to like to wear it now sans jacket or sweater, because it really emphasizes my newly-appearing waistline and makes me look a little waspish (maybe a little corseted).  I highly recommend this for the diva that is transitioning to a smaller clothes size – it gives a little more longevity to the stuff you own, and its hot.

I'm not saying these things because I am a very vain person.  In fact, I am pretty critical of myself at times.  I am saying these things because I am getting to the point where I am starting to look a lot better than I did when I started this diet.  I'm recognizing, and now, so are other people.  It feels good.  I am happy to see results.  I am starting to feel young and pretty again (as opposed to old, hormonal, and not so hot).  I can feel the change inside of me, and I'm happy to celebrate with you the fact that, as of today, I am starting to feel like a hot mama.  It is working!!  I can do this.  I am doing this.  It is working!!  I am getting healthier and slimmer.  I can see the finish line in the distance. 

Am I still a "big girl"?  You betcha.  Even though I feel exuberant (at the moment), I realize that, just because I feel slim, it doesn't mean that I actually am slim.  When I look in the mirror, the first question I force myself to ask is, "should a 212 pound woman be wearing this?"  My husband can feel my ribs for the first time since we've been married, but that doesn't mean that I'm twiggy.  My "slim" is another woman's "holy shit".  I get that.  It doesn't make me feel bad about myself.  I can remember the days, in high school, when 200 was my "holy shit".  Now, I'm going to have to fight back the urge to wear a bikini when I hit 200.  And that's okay.  It is about damn time that I showed the old body a little love.