Life Choices, Establishing Priorities, Acting Like an Adult, Headaches, Test Results

I just don't feel like myself this week.  I had Monday Misery, which is not my usual deal.  I have been grumpy, tired, and short-tempered.  Today, I have a headache, which I never get.  It is right in the dead center of my forehead and face, and completely encompasses both eyes.  The pressure is very uncomfortable.  I haven't been able to get my butt out the door to exercise this week.  I have been creaky and achy in my back and knees and neck.  I have had such high energy since starting low carb ten weeks ago.  In contrast, this week just feels so strange.  I am uncharacteristically low energy and just plain, old miserable.  Sigh.  I don't think it's the diet.  I am wondering if I'm sick, hormonal (see also, my birthday post and evil kate post), or starting up with my seasonal allergies. 

I just had a comprehensive blood screen at the doctor's and looked at my results.  Mostly everything is good and normal.  My glucose, after eating lunch, tested at 96 (which is normal for fasting blood sugar, so pretty good for midday after lunch).  My blood pressure has been consistently low.  My cholesterol is pretty good: its a little high, but the ratio is really good, and my HDL level is high. 

My estrogen count is way way up.  My new doctor confirmed my PCOS diagnosis yesterday after an ultrasound.  She said that my estrogen is elevated because I haven't ovulated in months.  So, I have started taking progesterone to induce a period, then I'll take clomid to induce ovulation.  Hopefully, this will start the old ball rolling.  Can extra estrogen make you beastly?  I am wondering.

So, the whole point of figuring out this PCOS thing, and getting my body in gear, is because I am, at least now, not ovulating and therefore infertile.  Hubby and I have been thinking about having another child. 

After going to the doctor yesterday, and talking about conception and stuff, stewing for a while, then getting Satan's own headache and being short with the wonderful daughter I already have, I began to feel that I am not ready to have another child at this moment.  I love kids.  I love my own kid to the moon and back and I am so proud of her that it makes my teeth hurt.  Part of me really would love to have more children.  The other part of me, which has been silent for a while, thinks that I should get my shit together, lose my weight, enjoy being thin and healthy, and revisit pregnancy when I am healthier overall and will have a safer pregnancy.  I also want to be able to hang out and do adult things that I have only recently been able to do… like join my friends for a movie or happy hour.  That same part has also suggested that I should think about focusing on my career.  Career and new baby don't necessarily jibe, you know.  (Not unless your significant other is willing to be a Mr. or Mrs. Mom… and mine isn't).  Both parts of me have been positively screaming "PRIORITIES, ESTABLISH YOUR FREAKING PRIORITIES", although they clearly disagree on what those priorities should be.  Is it just panic?

Let's make a list of priorities:

1. Keep a close eye on the health of my dad and grandma, and be the health bouncer in my family.
2. Spend time with my family.
3. Get healthy.
4. Get my billable hours on track at work.
5. Get City and related stuff in order.
6. Enjoy being an adult.
7. Take on a hobby.
8. Think about having another baby.
9. Think about running for office again (I really want to take a term off).

That feels right to me.  I have to sit with it for a while, but for now, this feels like what I have to do.  I feel this need to take care of and preserve what we already have, before we add anyone or anything else in to the mix.  

Why do I feel selfish and kind of sad?  Am I depressed?  I just don't feel like myself!  I am going to go back through my old blog posts, and remind myself that I am usually a happy person who feels well!!!

Ow.  The headache has moved on to the top of my head, my temples, and behind my ears, despite the acetominophen I just took.  Maybe I should wait until I feel better before I make any Life Choices.

Monday Misery.

Monday, Monday.  Can't trust that day.

 

Why do Mondays always hurt?  Like I've just gotten hit on the head with a brick, on Monday mornings, I tumble out of bed, alarmed by the alarm, stumbling around blindly, groping for the light switch, then damning the light (it also hurts), managing to trip over some item of [my] clothing left carelessly strewn on the floor, ending up in a collision with a door jamb or the door itself...  Man alive.  Mondays suck.  Its nearly 1 o'clock in the afternoon over here, and I'm still in a stupor.

 

It is not like I party hearty or do anything at all on the weekend that I would need to recover from, such that I'm rendered less acute than usual on Monday morning.  What explains all that cotton batting where my brain used to be?  Foggy.  That's what I am.

 

At the moment, I am completely zonked.  I need to be awake, too, because my job requires that I have a fully functioning brain.

 

Why the exhaustion?  It seems like this Monday has been worse than usual.  That's not all, either.  Yesterday, going to the gym was harder than usual.  I hated being on the elliptical machine, when only last week, I was crowing about dominating the damn thing. 

 

My best guess?  STRESS.  Oh, yes.  Stress with a capital S.  I am running around like a nut doing City stuff lately.  I hate being an elected official.  I am freaking out about the stuff that has been happening the past couple of weeks.  I truly am tired of this work.  In fact, I don't even want to run for reelection.  I just want to relax, take care of my family, enjoy my life, and not have meetings 4 nights per week.  I will run for reelection, however, because a decision on my part NOT to run would make my opponents dance with glee.  Would I rather be miserable and exhausted than see those schmucks dance with glee?  Apparently so!  I'm such a *&(%^!!

 

So, I should shut up and stop complaining, already.  Okay, got that.  I'm going to log in my Monday misery on this blog, just in case its diet related and I figure that out in the coming weeks.

 

In other news, my low carb chili is phenomenal.  Yummo.  I'm not kidding, its the best I've ever made, period.  And its filling and chock full of dietary fiber.  Warning, though, to you Atkins-heads... it contains black soybeans, which are low carb, but not expressly permitted on induction.

 

I recently saw the excellent and very funny documentary, "Fat Head" by Tom Naughton.  The movie discusses the lies and misperceptions that abound in our country regarding obesity, nutrition and weight loss.  It is a very comprehensive documentary that discusses these issues in an understandable and accurate way, and manages to do so in less than 2 hours.  You can watch it on Netflix.  I highly recommend it. 

 

This week, momma's gonna high tail her butt back to the gym.  No kidding, no excuses.  4 exercise days this week, period.  (1 down, 3 to go).

 

No alcohol again.  I can't discount the correlation between abstinence [from alcohol!!] and weight loss. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Healthy blueberry muffins (9 carbs each)

Blueberry muffins

Prep Time: 10 mins
Cook Time: 18 mins
Servings: 12 servings
Difficulty: Easy

Ingredients:

8 ounces stone ground wheat flour
3 ounces flaxseed meal
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch salt

4 ounces coconut palm sugar paste
1/2 cup melted butter
1 egg
1 egg yolk
1 6 ounce container peach yogurt

6 ounces blueberries

Directions:

Heat oven to 365°. Line muffin pan with foil liners.

Miix first five ingredients in bowl until well incorporated and free of lumps.

Place next five ingredients in a blender and pulse until smooth (or use your stick blender.

Add liquid mixture to dry ingredients. Stir to just combine.

Add blueberries. Sit gently to distribute blueberries in batter.

Use a scoop to evenly distribute batter into 12 muffin cups.

Bake for 15-18 minutes. Tops should be nicely browned.

When cooled, store in an airtight container. Eat within three days, or freeze for longer storage. Because the berries make these so moist, they are more susceptible to getting moldy.

This makes a seriously solid muffin, and is really good for kids breakfast with a glass of milk.

Alternate recipes: substitute 2 overripe mashed bananas for the blue berries, add some toasted walnuts.

Entire recipe is 109 grams net carbs, 9.08 grams net carbs per muffin.

Source:

My collection

Sent from Paprika Recipe Manager. http://www.paprikaapp.com

Sent from my iPad

Recipe: Low carb chili with black soybeans

Low carb chili with black soybeans

Prep Time: 10 mins
Cook Time: 2 hrs 30 mins
Servings: 12
Difficulty: Easy

Ingredients:
1 large sweet onion finely chopped
1 red bell pepper finely chopped
1 green bell pepper finely chopped
3 cloves garlic finely chopped
3/4 lb ground beef
1 lb ground pork
1/4 cup chili powder
1 tablespoon each onion and garlic powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon chili flakes
1 teaspoon cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon coarse sea salt
1 can tomato paste
1 carton low sodium chicken stock
1 bay leaf
3 drops liquid sweetener
1 can black soybeans, drained

Directions:
In a large stock pot, sauté the veggies in butter over medium heat, until softened and onion is translucent. Push to perimeter of pot.
Add the meat to the center of the pot, let brown. Add seasonings. Break apart meat and stir in with the veggies. Cook until meat is fully cooked.
Push the contents of the pot to the perimeter. Add tomato paste to the center, and let it sizzle and begin to adhere to the bottom. Stir to combine paste with pot contents.
Add chicken stock, bay leaf and sweetener.
Turn heat down to medium low and let simmer for 1 hour.
Add soybeans. Let simmer for another 1-2 hours.
Serve with hotdogs. Yummy.

Recipe is 67.5 grams net carbs. Each serving is 5.62 grams.

Source:

My collection

Sent from Paprika Recipe Manager. http://www.paprikaapp.com/

Sent from my iPad